In some ways this has been one of my
toughest weeks in the mission. Because of a few things that happened in the
office, I let a little of the spirit of contention enter my heart. What I’ve
relearned is that a bad spirit and the Spirit cannot dwell in the same place at
the same time. I really missed the feeling of the Spirit when it was not there.
All the visions of eternity that have dwelt in my mind, filling my soul with
quiet and continuing joy, and the certainty of it all, which had given me such
great hope, fled with Spirit, leaving me empty. It was a horrible feeling.
I woke up early this morning with the
bad thoughts still contaminating my mind, but with a determination to overcome
them. I knelt in quiet prayer pleading with the Lord to strengthen me. At
Church as I sat in Sunday School, and as we talked about the Book of Mormon,
the feeling the Spirit returned as a flood of light and testimony. As I write
this, I am still basking in that light and the joy and the confidence that it
brings. I have a determination to never let anything like that enter my mind
again. Nothing is worth more than feelings of the Spirit which is never
appreciated more than when it is gone.
….and you shall receive my Spirit, and
a blessing so great as you never have known.
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