Light and Darkness

I have had a few of brushes with the forces of darkness in my life. There are  some things in common with each of these experiences. First and foremost is intense fear. This fear is accompanied by just as intense feelings of  hopelessness and despair. Another is that they have always come in the darkness of night when there is little or no light present. Also there is a physical sensation of an unseen power pressing down upon me. Finally, they leave me quite shaken, sometimes for weeks after they have occurred. 

This morning before the first hints of sunrise had touched the skies, I had another such experience. I had just awoke and for some reason was thinking back to an experience that I had in my youth, perhaps when I was sixteen. It hit me suddenly. This memory, this experience was forever lost and would never be clear. My life had no meaning and death would erase me and all would be lost. These were more than thoughts, they were intense feeling filled with fear, hopelessness and despair and the sensation of something pressing down upon me.

A calm voice told me to open the scriptures. I read this verse of the Book of Mormon among others:

9  And it came to pass that he saw One descending out of the midst of heaven, and he beheld that his luster was above that of the sun at noon-day.
1 Nephi 1:9

It was like the rising of the sun in my soul, driving back the darkness, which slowly receded. At same time, a realization touched me that my fear and panic were based on lies. Every act, every moment of our lives is recorded in heaven. Even if our memories fail us, they are never lost and one day we will see them all clearly. God has spoken again upon this earth via living prophets and given us as evidence and hope of his existence the Book of Mormon. Everything does indeed have meaning and purpose.